You're sooooo busy
We're so busy, we need a new word for busy
The other day, a good friend lamented about feeling FOMO over the three-day weekend, as she was stuck at home with a sick kid, watching the world enjoy vacations, gather for BBQs, and generally be busy with fun plans.
“Doesn’t it kind of make you miss the pandemic a bit?” I asked?
I don’t, of course, mean the terrifying black hole that was 2020, but rather the post-vaccine spring and summer of 2021, where we didn’t fear for our lives, but expectations on everyday life were still minimal. I actually have fond memories of that time. My son was at a sweet age of toddlerhood that fit neatly with the cultural pace of the time. I now realize how was nice it was to not feel like parenting was holding me back from life.
Now, we’re all so BUSY again. And, understandably, having some adverse reactions to it after a hiatus.
I’m just as guilty as the next person. I even got called out in a group text for trying to push making plans until we all weren’t so "busy.” That’s never going to happen, was the argument. It got me thinking about the word, BUSY. I’d be curious how many times a day it’s used by any one person.
There have been many a think piece on the culture of busyness, and how we need to reconsider what it means to be busy, and how much or little importance needs to be placed on it. Americans like to be busy. Busy means productive. Productive means value. Value means status. Status means fulfillment. Fulfillment means a successful life.
The pandemic forced us all to question this deeply puritanical value system, with The Great Resignation, an influx in remote work, and a general lack of appetite to go back to the way things were. Yet, here we are––back to the way things were.
Employers are walking back those remote policies, weekend plans are jammed, and instead of asking how everyone is holding up, we’re back to asking what is everyone up to.
I am definitely more attuned to the busyness and how we talk about it, especially at work.
It wasn’t until recently that I noticed how often and carelessly we use the word “busy” in a work environment. It’s filler language that seems innocuous, but I’m realizing has a huge impact on culture.
You hear it all day, even if the word “busy” isn’t mentioned. It sounds like this:
“I know everyone is super busy.”
“Hey, I know you’re busy.”
“I’m so slammed.”
“Yeah, I’ve been in back-to-back calls all morning.”
“I haven’t even had lunch yet.”
“Sorry, be five minutes late. My meeting is running over.”
You hear it on calls, read it in emails, and see it on people’s faces.
I have no doubt that most people are actually very busy with tasks and meetings that need to be accomplished. But, I believe the way we talk about it is unintentionally harmful. Like anything, the more we put it out there, the greater the chance of it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we talk about how busy we are, the more busy we actually become. If you put a bunch of empty baskets in a room, you’ll find crap to put in them, right?
Recently, I had the thought that perhaps we use “busyness” as a poor substitute for expressing a wide range of things from acknowledging and appreciating hard work and effort to avoiding accountability. It’s a term that has become vacuous catch-all language that has diminishing returns on connection and culture in and out of work. Hear me out.
Busyness ≠ Hard Work & Effort
In most cases, assuming busyness is usually an attempt at acknowledging how hard someone is working, not an observation on how much they are working. Those two things are often conflated. People who work smart and hard, don’t always feel too busy.
Consider this scenario: a team leader kicking off a meeting with, “I know everyone is super busy right, but…”
Right off the bat, the tone is stressful and the expectation for a certain level of perceived busyness is set. I’ve had this happen recently where, in response to this statement, I thought, “I don’t feel that busy.”
Don’t get me wrong, my plate of work was full, but I didn’t feel overloaded or stretched. That is what the sentiment usually implies, right? I started to doubt myself. Should I be busier? Am I not working hard enough? Am I not proving my value on the team? Do people think I’m slacking off?
Probably none of these things are true. I’d like to consider myself an efficient person who works hard, but doesn’t always feel busy because I manage my time well and delegate tasks where I’m weaker to others who are stronger in those skills. But, the busy bar was raised and I felt compelled to meet it, even though what I was experiencing was a healthy workload. This is a direct road to burnout I don’t want anyone to take.
Instead, team leader could try,
“Hey, I see how hard everyone is working lately…”
“I appreciate how everyone has been able to put extra time into …”
“I want to thank everyone for putting in so much effort…”
It’s an easy pivot, but feels immensely different, right? These phrases put people at ease, make them feel confident, and appreciated––creating a culture of intrinsically motivated members who are rewarded for working hard, not overworking.
Busyness ≠ Excuses & Avoidance
Likewise, “busyness” is often used as an excuse for not doing something else. How many times have you heard the word used as a vague bandaid for not making people and tasks a priority?
“Jan, what’s the status on the next blog post?”
“Oh gosh, I’ve been so busy with X, Y, Z…”
It’s always easier to hide behind an opaque curtain of busyness in email:
“Sorry for the delay! I’ve been so busy…”
“Things have been insane; it totally slipped through the cracks…”
“Sorry, I’m just seeing this. It got buried in my inbox.”
In the workplace, failure to complete a task or respond in a timely manner is generally acceptable in the name of being busy with other work. As long as you were still being productive somehow, it’s ok that this particular thing didn’t cross the finish line.
This creates a culture that lacks accountability and fosters distrust. It’s hard to generate good work and solid working relationships when your teammates aren’t reliable to get the job done or accountable for their actions.
It definitely takes a certain amount of humility, but better responses are:
“Thanks for your patience. I haven’t been able to prioritize this…”
“I let this escape my radar…”
“I’m afraid I haven’t been as organized as I should be lately and missed this …”
Just like I was called out on the text chain with friends, we’re never not going to be busy; it’s not an excuse. It’s important to take accountability. It’s difficult to be vulnerable, but in my experience, it has the highest exchange rate for currency in trust and connection building.
I don’t have a fundamental problem with the word busy. I am an objectively busy person. I don’t track my steps or whatever, but having two small kids, a full time job, a (small) house, and part-time grad school means I spend a lot of time moving. I keep busy! It’s ok to have a lot going on. I don’t subscribe to the idea that more is necessarily better or worse. We all have different capacities for fullness, and there is no right or wrong amount.
For me, as long as the busyness is diversified, I can take on quite a bit. While for some, the busyness can lead to burnout, it often fuels me. I do, of course, have my limits; I just rarely meet them. I am a certifiable freak, and that’s ok. I never expect anyone else to be freaky with me, and I don’t think I’m superior for it. I can acknowledge that while I may be able to carry five bags of groceries, I certainly can’t do it as well or fast as someone who chooses to carry just two.
Busy is in’t the issue. My irritation is in how (ironically) lazy we have gotten in using the word to adequately, and accurately, describe our experiences in and out of work. I implore everyone to be more thoughtful, specific, and vulnerable in language describing our behaviors. I think it could go a long way in improving stress levels, relationships, and even the quality of the work itself.
This rant all checks out. I’m a writer, copywriter AND I just finished my first year working towards a masters degree in positive organizational psychology. Of course I’m annoyingly aware and critical of the language we use at work, so I apologize. At least I’m not charging you to gobble this guck (for now).
But, I do love a conversation around workplace jargon, so please use the comments to let me know what words or phrases make you want to pull out your eyelashes one by one, and if you have any better language ideas to replace them!
Love this! Your reframing of leader rhetoric resonates nicely with me! I’m eager to hear more about the positive/negative framing effects you have found. One thing I’d like to hear more about is your thoughts on collaborating in the workplace!
Yup.