In my winter era
Let's call it productive hibernation.
I can’t seem to get myself to write a newsletter. I’ve tried countless times in the last month or so. It’s like trying to open my mouth, but nothing comes out whenever I open a new draft. I’m trying to write this on my phone to see if a change in the writing instrument helps. If you’re reading this, it worked!
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I’m a freaking Gemini. Loss of words is not really ever my thing. I’ve just been so heads down, trying to keep the machine of my life humming without disruption. It’s not in a particularly stressful way… it just is.
Seeing a parent friend at the playground this past weekend, we exchanged the usual greeting, “How are things with you?”
“Oh, you know.”
And I did know! It wasn’t a cop-out. He really didn’t need to go any further. We’re just spinning plates. Nothing to note. Not much of interest. Very flat, but very full.
Work has finally picked up for me, proving that sometimes, sowing the seeds of networking doesn’t bear fruitful opportunities for an entire season. I even said NO to a project that wasn’t worth the money for the time. That felt very big for me, given the extreme scarcity mindset I’ve held for…I don’t know; I’ve lost count, honestly. It feels like it’s just part of my personality at this point.
I’m busy trying to keep up with work and staying focused on the second half of my year-long statistics sequence. Between class, TA hours, homework, and review, I probably spend about 15 hours a week trying to wrap my brain around these concepts. So, if you talk to me in real life, I might try to talk about it. I earnestly apologize in advance. Many people have expressed that my reality is their actual nightmare. And I get it. I am recovering from my second to last exam this morning. THE BODY KEEPS SCORE (and now I can predict outcomes).
This is all between writing podcast advertisement scripts for window treatments and skincare, creating social media strategies for the sixteenth How to Train Your Dragon movie, and publishing a new article instructing leaders on managing a multi-generational workforce. And, of course, peeling small children off counters and cleaning up endless little messes from my two cats and two kids.
The dichotomy (Trichotomy?) is wild! How many different ways can one slice a brain? Ask any mother, and she’ll scoff that you didn’t take enough math to comprehend the possibilities.
It’s just a lot of work. But I’m not mad at it. Not all work and responsibilities solicit the bad kind of stress. I think stress can be good! It can be rewarding and fulfilling if you allow it––just not usually in the moment. The silver linings to hard things really are wasted on retrospect and nostalgia.
Ok, I’m starting to wax poetic, which is basically a blinking red light to get off the stage. So, I’ll leave you with something I learned from one of my readings for class this week: in psychological research, hope is actually measured in two parts: belief that good things exist and belief that those good things will happen.
I believe in both. So for now, it’s a lot of heads down, thumbs up.
How very winter of me! I guess I’m hibernating, and so is my writing. So, if you don’t hear from me too much, check back in spring.
I love this one.